How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

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Rich
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How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by Rich » Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:16 am

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
None. It's a hardware problem.
1.000000001.
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
Four. One to design the change, one to implement it, one to document it, and one to maintain it afterwards.
Four, plus one senior analyst to manage the project, one technical writer to correct the spelling and grammar of the one who documented it, one light bulb librarian, a sales-force of at least five to drum up enough users who want to turn the light on, 274 users to burn out the new bulb, at which point we go to tender for another light bulb change,...
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
Only one, but she's not available till the year 2000.
"The change is 90% complete."
"It's hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working."
Of course, as everyone knows, just five years ago all it took was a bunch of kids in a garage in Palo Alto to change a light bulb.

How many maintenance programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They try to fix the old one.
"We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?"

How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We just recognized darkness, fixing it is someone else's problem."

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seventy two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle ...

How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank".

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
Regards

Rich

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Snowy
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by Snowy » Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:42 am

funny! but your joke has shown its age:
Only one, but she's not available till the year 2000.

swright
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by swright » Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:58 pm

I think there was a large number of light bulb jokes posted in one of the Lighten Up discussions, I seem to remember posting some myself.
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by The Prince Of Darkness » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:17 pm

:idea:
Former SAP PM, looking to move in Lawn Mower business

YuriT
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by YuriT » Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:56 am

- How many ABAP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. Just one.

Craig
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by Craig » Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:29 am

YuriT wrote:- How many ABAP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. Just one.
How many if it is a heavy bulb? :P

I've found ABAP programmers to be pretty much light weights in the physical category. I know that's sterotypying... so sue me..

Craig

Rich
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by Rich » Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:08 am

Craig wrote:
YuriT wrote:- How many ABAP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. Just one.
How many if it is a heavy bulb? :P

I've found ABAP programmers to be pretty much light weights in the physical category. I know that's sterotypying... so sue me..

Craig
I'm sueing you.... unless you're a 400lb american football player....
Regards

Rich

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Craig
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Re: How many software engineers does it take to change a light b

Post by Craig » Fri Sep 16, 2011 4:10 am

Rich wrote:I'm sueing you.... unless you're a 400lb american football player....
Uh-oh.. 400 lbs? I don't think we have any 400 lb football players. Most lineman are in the 305-330 area. And many are quite fast considering there size.

I'm only about half that so no worries Rich. As far as physically fit ABAP programmers go, you might be the exception that makes the rule.

With the way kids are playing video games and electronic devices these days, in 20 years from now we won't have anyone that could even think about going hiking!

Craig

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