New Game, Wish with a twist

[Frish]

granted. you can sleep now.

waking up is an entirely different story though. if a finnish goldfish promises to buy you a barolo and on top of that you get rich (the means on the how-to provided by your dreams of bill gates) while noone buys muhnkee his dream-car and sandi never has hayfever again and jim b uses oysters for what they were originally designed for (throwing them at people) ... and you have granted every wish in this thread without a twist ... well then ... maybe.

i wish my UMTS device would work stable.

[Rich]

Granted.

Your UMTS device turns into two cans and a length of string. Sound quality is about as good as the first telephone demonstrated by Alexander Graham Bell. The upside is that call costs drop to zero, but you must first take a bike/train/plane ride to the person you want to contact to give them the other tin can.

I wish I was laying on a beach in some baking hot mediterranean resort, soaking up the sun, covered in sun-bloc, with my akubra on my bald head (so it doesn't get sunburnt), drinking an ice cold G&T, occaisionally looking at my laptop on the side and doing a bit of work now and again, with a nice lady by my side, and no one (and that means noone too...) grants me this wish unless they have no malice afore-thought and everything they grant me is done in the most pleasant way with no twist, sting, catch or any other nasty thing attached to it (such as low flying shell fish).

Oh. And the waiter has an endless supply of fresh, hot, buttered croissants on call.

[YuriT]

and no one (and that means noone too...) grants me this wish unless they have no malice afore-thought and everything they grant me is done in the most pleasant way with no twist, sting, catch or any other nasty thing attached to it

You said it yourself. No one (and that means noone too...) grants you this wish, since you are in "wish with a twist" thread and everyone HAS a malice afore-thought with nasty thing attached to it.

I wish i was ambidextrous.

[Gothmog]

Granted. You are now very clumsy - but equally - with both hands.

I wish I could make noisy phones and mp3 players explode with a mere thought.

[Rich]

and no one (and that means noone too...) grants me this wish unless they have no malice afore-thought and everything they grant me is done in the most pleasant way with no twist, sting, catch or any other nasty thing attached to it

You said it yourself. No one (and that means noone too...) grants you this wish, since you are in "wish with a twist" thread and everyone HAS a malice afore-thought with nasty thing attached to it.

I wish i was ambidextrous.

Bollox! and I was hoping for a nice fortnight away!

[YuriT]

Bollox! and I was hoping for a nice fortnight away!

Thats a twist

[thx4allthefish]

Bollox! and I was hoping for a nice fortnight away!

Thats a twist

no. it's an improvement

[thx4allthefish]

Granted. You are now very clumsy - but equally - with both hands.

I wish I could make noisy phones and mp3 players explode with a mere thought.

Granted. But your car broke down and you couldn't get a rented-one, so you are forced to use the bus, train, plane (whatever) to move around on earth - which brings you in the immediat proximity of all that gear you set to explode with a mere thought (the appearance of which you cannot control). After two days amongst bits of flying electronic shards you go to Scotland to buy several sets of battle proof armour.

i wish i had an iphone.

[Rich]

Granted.

You do.

But unfortunately you bought it in England where it is tied to O2 (a provider). Since unlocking iPhones means fiddling with the Rom and is not recommended (nor will most phone places unlock them because of this), when you get it home you find that you cannot use it on any service provider where you are so it ends up on the fireplace as an ornament.

I wish I could listen to any of my cd's in my car without first having to download them to an ipod or stick them in any form of CD player (which would mean a pretty big CD case in the boot...)

[thx4allthefish]

But unfortunately you bought it in England where it is tied to O2 (a provider). Since unlocking iPhones means fiddling with the Rom and is not recommended (nor will most phone places unlock them because of this), when you get it home you find that you cannot use it on any service provider where you are ...

phew. lucky me. i'm with Alice and so for mobiles (which is free of charge from Alice to Alice) the provider is O2.

I wish I could listen to any of my cd's in my car without first having to download them to an ipod or stick them in any form of CD player (which would mean a pretty big CD case in the boot...)

Granted. from now on you can hear your cd's in your car and only there. without preparation. without any gear, actually. at full volume only. random select of the pieces, only the first 60 seconds played. by the time rosie manages a beer with BG you have turned into Mickey Mouse.

i wish i had a green jasmine tea.

[Snowy]

i wish i had a green jasmine tea.

Granted! you have tea in your cup, but, you are pregnant and if you drink it, it might have an aborption effect.

I wish that Black Hole Sun would come and wash away the rain.

[mike_ac]

Granted. You're dreaming of a nice shower, but when you awake with a startle, you discover it was Bryson giving you a nice golden shower. Unfortunately, he just had chili-covered haggas, and the black hole sun opens up and washes the suddenly more desirable golden shower away from your face.

I wish someone would engineer a perfect species of lawn grass -- grows dense in any soil to near bare rock, grows only where you want it to, allows no weeds through, is so drought resistant it can stay green in Phoenix with water only once a month, is so heat tolerant and cold tolerant that it stays green whether planted in Nunavut or the Sahara, and grows to a height between 1/4 of an inch to 1 inch maximum. This species should be easy to acquire, be very affordable, look like manicured fairway bermuda tiff, and be 100% legal. It also should be highly insect and disease resistant, and chase terminites, ants, and grubs out of the lawn, while encouraging more desirable species to flourish. It also must not feed on human flesh.

[MattG]

Granted; it interfears with the moles repoductive cycle. Mole numbers mutiply ten fold per anum.


I wish I was a better motorcycle rider.

[Rich]

Granted; it interfears with the moles repoductive cycle. Mole numbers mutiply ten fold per anum.


I wish I was a better motorcycle rider.

Why ? Are the lamp posts and telegraph poles getting scared of you ?

[mike_ac]

Granted; it interfears with the moles repoductive cycle. Mole numbers mutiply ten fold per anum.

Works for me! We have no moles in this area, so 1000% population growth still leaves us with 0 moles.

I wish I was a better motorcycle rider.

Granted. You are now driving (crashing) a better motorcycle. Your crashes are becoming increasingly frequent and serious.

Now, I'm as scared as the lamp posts... I wish Matt was more proficient at driving his motorcycle safely.