New Game, Wish with a twist

[YuriT]

Granted. Now they start bitching about remaining 3 seasons plus about every day of the week.

I wish Google was renamed to Cock-a-doodle

[mike_ac]

Granted, but only for you. Now, every search you make brings up only images of cocks. The rest of us continue to use google.

I wish for an immediate pay raise in US dollars, but of at least 500% of the inflation rate of the worst performing currency in the world (currently the Zimbabwean dollar)...

[Rich]

Granted, but only for you. Now, every search you make brings up only images of cocks. The rest of us continue to use google.

I wish for an immediate pay raise in US dollars, but of at least 500% of the inflation rate of the worst performing currency in the world (currently the Zimbabwean dollar)...

Granted,

However, you are paid in hard cash rather than electronic transfers, and the denominations are all one cent coins. Your pockets soon start wearing out and you end up using an articulated lorry to carry your cash for your weekly shop around with you.

I wish Mike_Ac would sell his one cent coins to me at .01% face value payment in for dollar bills so that I could melt them down and extract the bronze, selling it for it's scrap value.

[YuriT]

Granted. But at this very moment scientists all around the world announce that a new way of producing tin and copper was discovered. A way so simple anyone can do it, using plastic bucket and a stone. Copper, tin and eventually bronze prices drop immediately and dramatically, leaving you with wasted money and a sack of worthless coins.

I wish my laptop's screen wasn't falling off...

[Rich]

Granted.

It Isn't.

It has.

I wish it was time to finish work.

[thx4allthefish]

granted. it is time. you are fired.

i wish for the rain to stop while i ride my bike home.

[YuriT]

Granted. Rain stops, but hail starts.

I wish I understood Rich's latest comment.

UPDATE: Hey! Who granted this? I understood it right after hitting "Submit". Now for the twist. I'm scared

[thx4allthefish]

needn't be. Rich can only see into the future for the next 3 minutes.

i wish i had a croissant.

[Rich]

needn't be. Rich can only see into the future for the next 3 minutes.

i wish i had a croissant.

You do, but it's 17 years, 5 months 12 days and 37 minutes old. Hard as reinforced concrete and you break a tooth biting into it.

But.... Super Frish appears (where is it by the way), takes you to a dentist who repairs your tooth. SF then provides you with a nice hot croissant, dripping in butter.

Rich can only see into the future for the next 3 minutes.

You saying I'm a goldfish with foresight ?

I wish Yuri was a goldfish........ and I was a cat.....

[thx4allthefish]

But.... Super Frish appears (where is it by the way),

i could ask you the same! i didn't call on Frish because on that very day Yuri was extremely cautious.

SF then provides you with a nice hot croissant, dripping in butter.

[blow kiss] you are the only one who really really understands me [/blow kiss]

I wish Yuri was a goldfish........ and I was a cat.....

Granted. you are a cat. Yuri is a goldfish. the last of his kind. he enlargens his flippers, jumps, puts them around your scruff and pulls you into the pond - after that, only fishy crunching noises bubble up to the surface.

i wish i didn't have to work through the weekend.

[Rich]

only fishy crunching noises bubble up to the surface.

Yep - the noise of fish being crunched by a cat.

[Rich]

I wish my laptop's screen wasn't falling off...

....

It Isn't.

It has.

Your statement implies that your laptop screen is in the process of falling off but has not yet done so completly.

I've said that it isn't in the process of falling off but has actually fallen off and is no longer connected to your laptop in any way what so ever.

[YuriT]

Yeah, I got it right after clicking "Submit". Like I said above Thats why I got scared.

i wish i didn't have to work through the weekend.

"You are fired" starts getting a bit old

Granted! Now weekend is a normal working day for you. You still have to work, but this doesn't qualify as working through the weekend.

I wish Frish made a funny comment.

[noone]

For some reason Frish seems temporarily out of sorts (banned ????), well anyway, he sent me a psychic message about some one wanting a funny comment and could I grant their wish.

• Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

• What has no beginning, end or middle and touches every continent?

The ocean.

• What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?

It gets wet.

• What happens when you throw a red rock into the Black Sea?

It sinks to the bottom.

• What fish is the most valuable?

A goldfish.

• Why is it so easy to weigh fish?

They have their own scales.

• What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you.

• Why did the fish cross the road?

Somebody threw it!

• What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?

The tune-a fish!


• What happens when you cross
a great white shark with a cow?

I don't know...
but I wouldn't want to milk it.

• How do you shoot a blue shark?

With a blue shark spear gun.

• How do you shoot a great white shark?

Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.

• If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?

Loch Jaws.

• What is purple and lives in the sea and weighs 5000 pounds?

Moby Plum.

• Why are manatees so wrinkled?

Did you ever tried to iron one?

• What's green and squishy and spends a lot of time underwater?

An avocado with an aqua lung.

• What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

• What do you get when you graduate from scuba diving school?

A deep-loma.

• There was a sea scout camp near a beach where the porpoises were so friendly they swam into shore at dinner time. The chef used to announce dinner by yelling: "Dinner! For all in tents...and porpoises."

I wish Frish wasn't banned....

[thx4allthefish]

I wish Frish wasn't banned....

what did you do to her?

Granted. After i send a PM to the Admin, Frish will possibly be 'un'-banned. however, i'm sure you're going to regret that wish, because Frish will from now on contact me mentally as soon as you post and then i can go around being unfair

i wish i could sleep.